Doctor's Orders
A patient walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.” The doctor replies, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
Lost in Translation
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are stranded on a desert island. They find a genie’s lamp and agree to split the wishes three ways. The Englishman says, “I wish to be back in London with my family and friends.” Poof! He disappears. The Frenchman says, “Je souhaite être de retour à Paris avec ma famille et mes amis.” Poof! He disappears. The Russian looks around and says, “I miss my friends. I wish my friends were here with me.” Poof! The Englishman and the Frenchman reappear.
The Best Way to Communicate
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Can I have a coffee and a muffin?” The librarian replies, “I’m sorry, sir, but this is a library.” The man leans in and whispers, “Can I have a coffee and a muffin?”
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